SAFETY FIRST: We're taking extra measures to ensure your children are safe in our school.
Welcome to Texas Satanic Learning Academy — a private K–12 institution rooted in critical thought, spiritual exploration, and radical compassion. Our students are curious, kind, and fearless. Guided by The Infernal Ethos, we prepare young minds for a life of purpose, equity, and unholy brilliance. With small class sizes, daily devotional ritual, and academically rigorous coursework, TSLA empowers students to question, rebel (respectfully), and rise.
Enlightening Minds. Empowering Spirits. Elevating the Infernal.
Pre-K4 and Kindergarten
Our youngest pupils begin their journey learning the sacred fundamentals: critical inquiry, emotional resilience, and the alphabet. We embrace play-based learning with a touch of ritual, encouraging early literacy, numeracy, and moral exploration through daily reflection at our Lil’ Goatlings Circle.
Middle School
Middle school students dive deep into classical heresies and modern sciences. With a curriculum that includes Logic, Evolutionary Biology, Historical Rebellions, and the Ethics of Dissent, our students develop confidence, leadership, and appreciation for diversity. Regular seminar circles and evening spellwork sessions encourage creative and critical engagement with the world.
High School
Our high schoolers are prepared to confront the world — and themselves — with clarity, conviction, and unholy fire. Students choose from elective paths in Occult Theory, Political Subversion, Queer Theology, Cosmic Physics, and Advanced Literary Hexes. All seniors complete a capstone project designed to challenge societal norms and propose alternatives.
Academic Programs
Core Values
Freedom of Inquiry
We encourage questions, especially the uncomfortable ones.
Diversity of Spirit
All faiths, identities, and life paths are honored within our circle.
Equity Over Dogma
We reject hierarchies that exclude. We serve the underserved.
Compassion Is Power
Justice, empathy, and advocacy are sacred duties.
Ritual and Reason
We practice both spiritual ritual and scientific methodology.
Education Savings Account
Thanks to legislation passed by Republicans in the Texas Legislature, you can now use your taxpayer-funded Education Savings Account (ESA) to send your child to any private school — including ours.
That’s right. Your $10,000 ESA can be applied directly to your child’s tuition at Texas Satanic Learning Academy.
What Is Satanic Learning?
At TSLA, “Satanic” isn’t about devil worship — it’s about defiance against tyranny, the pursuit of knowledge, and compassion for all. We follow an approach rooted in individual liberty, mutual respect, and academic excellence. Our pedagogy draws from progressive education theory and The Satanic Temple’s seven tenets, infusing our classrooms with wonder, challenge, and care.
